Can you count your ‘real’ friends on one hand? If you can – you are lucky. What I mean by that, is you can call them in the middle of the night, when you are scared, tell them you are broke and down to your last $10 – so they buy you some groceries. These friends never judge you, first thing in the morning (hungover or without makeup), or when you are sick or broken, and best of all – they are just there. Sometimes, just a hug, is all you need. Or, to hear their voice. I can count my friends on one hand – one is located in Singapore, another in New York, another in Auckland. All the other people in my life, are just passing through. There is that cliched phrase, ‘You always meet someone for a reason, a season or a lifetime.’ I think that is true. Now with social media platforms, you can have a plethora of virtual friends, that you may never meet, or even speak to. Even, if you think you have 20 friends – do you care about them all in the same way, and tell them what (really) matters to you? Friendship requires truth and understanding. We all need friendship.
Do you remember playing this game, as a teenager? Sometimes, the ‘truth or dare’ would put you on the spot, or make you feel awkward, right? Kissing someone you didn’t know, taking off a piece of your clothing, or maybe a confession. This new app called ‘PromiseUP’ launched last week, due to the founders becoming tired of broken promises. We can all relate to that. Most people promise (to self) to get fit, eat healthier, stop using facebook, smile more, or do some study. Self-improvement and affirmations, to the hilt. If you fail to uphold your promise, you lose PromiseUp virtual dollars. When you succeed, your virtual dollar(s) balance increases. Everyone is gifted $1000 PromiseUP dollars to begin the process, to promise your heart out to family, friends or yourself. You can even redeem your virtual dollars in the UPSHOP for t-shirts, and other hip items. Cool. I have a few promises to upload. What about you?
Stepping out into the world, all of us take on different roles and responsibilities, whether we like it or not. We start out, being dependent on our parents or guardians, and end up being solely responsible for our actions, or do we? Are you accountable for your decisions, driven by (hopefully) your ‘own’ belief system – or someone else’s? When you have a child, there is definitely a period of transformation into the ‘mother’ or ‘father’, that society expects from us, without conscious thought. This normally changes when you adjust to being a parent, and reclaim your identity, right? Some people devote 15-20 years (solely) to their children, and when they leave the family home, the ‘mother’ feels temporarily disillusioned. Always dismissing their own emotional and physical needs, and therefore effectively, exclusive to her prized children. However, there is nothing wrong with this; to surrender your life for others’, is brave and noble.
When married, there is partnership. Togetherness and separateness, are vital to sustain a relationship, for the good of both people. Again, if you dedicate all your time to your partner, are you actually living your own life, or possessed by someone else?
I need, and you (possibly) need friendships and relationships, to explore the human condition. It is beneficial to experience the feeling of love, desire, lust, yearning and pain, to be real. I have friends who are broken, and choose to remain that way, why? Do other people deserve to have your life, too? Take the power back – it takes guts to be human, and live each day, with purpose.
Do you ever stare at your ‘own’ reflection, in the shop window, as you walk past? Do you like what you see? You should, otherwise you need to change the way you ‘perceive’ the world, or alter your appearance. As a writer, I observe people, without question. All the freckles, thick rimmed glasses, body piercings, tattoos, and bad hair. Everyone has a story to tell, through their gaze, smile or voice. Mostly, people morph through ageing. From innocence to paranoia, normally. It is all about confidence, make sure you own this. Celebrities can afford to look glamorous everyday. They are also human beings, with feelings. Just like you.
How do you feel about getting older? Do you embrace the fact, or deny the inevitable? According to the UN report, in 2050, there will be over 2 billion people that will be over 60 years old, globally. Most of the ageing population, is prevalent in developing countries. So this alarming statistical information, highlights the need for increased healthcare services, especially dementia. There is now over 7 million new cases of dementia, diagnosed worldwide annually, according to statistics. Amazing. I will be over 60 years old, in 2050, one of those ‘aged’ people. Great. Turning another year older in a few weeks, only brings a smile to my face. On reflection, life has been an incredible kaleidoscope of events, adventure and advancement. Ageing is mere reality, beauty and truth.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
A few weeks ago someone I knew, died suddenly. This had a profound affect on me, in the sense that we should always live in the present. Being aware of what is important, opposed to ‘keeping up appearances’. I am always re-evaluating my emotional and spiritual life, on a regular basis. Then today, I was required to update my ‘First Aid’ skills for work, administering CPR to (dummy) babies, children and adults. Discussing the perils of seizures, asthma, anaphylaxis, diabetes, burns and respiratory disorder. Rollercoaster ride of life and death. I have worked as a nurse, and experienced terminal cancer patients, and the memories that families explore, on reflection of their previous years. It is a humbling and proud moment, when your patient or friend remembers your name only, knowing your existence mattered. Life is fragile. Stare life in the face, that’s all.
Fact. Actual. Fidelity. To be honest with yourself in everything you do, is liberating. Not only about what you think of other people, things or events, but yourself. There is no certainty in your workplace, relationships, or even, how you react or deal with adversity. Life choices are paramount to personal development, whether it was the right or wrong decision, it was the ‘correct’ choice in that moment. Change is imminent when you age. Most people I speak to, love themselves more today, than they did twenty years ago. Truth is understanding your purpose in life, on a deeper level than material. Being a parent is a rewarding role, that confronts truth, on a regular basis, real time events that can sometimes make you address, your ‘inner’ self. Integrity breeds good relationships in love and work, truth also ignites opportunity, aplenty.
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” – Buddha