“Human beings are an untidy lot. They’d lose their arms and legs if they weren’t joined on right.” – Elizabeth Beresford
‘Our addictive functioning requires of us that we tune out our bodies. In fact, often the purpose of our addictions is to put us out of touch with what we are feeling, what we are thinking, our awarenesses, and our intuition. Addictive working or rushing around leaves little time or energy to notice what our bodies are telling us about our feelings and our health.’
Excerpt from ‘Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much’ by Anne Wilson Schaef
Recently, I was talking with a group of people – who did not know each other – until that moment. The conversation was generally light-hearted relating to work, film, family and actors’ agents. Without any warning, this person sitting next to me said, “How many children do you have?” There was a look of bemusement and shock on this woman’ s face, who was sitting opposite him. She responded “I don’t actually have any children.” She was left dumbfounded and speechless, by his comments. What just happened? He just asked an inappropriate question, to someone who now thinks, she looks like a ‘mummy’ (whatever that means) and needs to upgrade her eye cream. You never ask a woman if she is pregnant, because she could just be overweight, that is all. Also, never ask anyone’s age outright, or be prepared for the backlash – boom!
Can you count your ‘real’ friends on one hand? If you can – you are lucky. What I mean by that, is you can call them in the middle of the night, when you are scared, tell them you are broke and down to your last $10 – so they buy you some groceries. These friends never judge you, first thing in the morning (hungover or without makeup), or when you are sick or broken, and best of all – they are just there. Sometimes, just a hug, is all you need. Or, to hear their voice. I can count my friends on one hand – one is located in Singapore, another in New York, another in Auckland. All the other people in my life, are just passing through. There is that cliched phrase, ‘You always meet someone for a reason, a season or a lifetime.’ I think that is true. Now with social media platforms, you can have a plethora of virtual friends, that you may never meet, or even speak to. Even, if you think you have 20 friends – do you care about them all in the same way, and tell them what (really) matters to you? Friendship requires truth and understanding. We all need friendship.
What are you willing to give up, to be an artist? Are you a writer, sculptor, screenwriter, actor or photographer? How long does it take, to make a living from your art? Well (in my experience), you do a lot of work for contra, exposure and/or zilch income. However, if you stick to it like glue, you will get results. You just to need to earn some money, to cover the essentials. My advice is to never give up, in what you believe in. Dream. Focus. Create. And keep on doing it.
Have you been proactive (enough) today? Completed all the menial tasks around the house, done the grocery shopping, walked the dog, and been to the gym? I can now simply say ‘no’, to 2 out of 4 of those questions, without guilt. Before, (maybe two years ago) I would put so much pressure on myself, to do a 35hr day, in 16hr duration. Why? Do we feel ‘better’ for achieving everything, on the ‘to do list’? Time is precious, right? That is why everyone is so busy, all the time. Maybe we need to be strategic thinkers, in our personal life too? Only you know what is important. Remember to laugh.
Presently, I am surrounded by several pregnant friends, who are all due to give birth in the next 1-4 weeks. Exciting times for these women, who are about to experience, a permanent and deliberate change in their lives. It is indeed a privilege to be a parent. Children teach us to be selfless, in my opinion. They constantly need emotional, physical and financial support to grow. Each birthday brings new challenges, and special memories, from toddler, to school, through to teen, then adult. Hormonal, environmental, genetic and organic change are all apart, of the tapestry of infancy. Unconditional love, to the hilt, I think.
How do you feel about getting older? Do you embrace the fact, or deny the inevitable? According to the UN report, in 2050, there will be over 2 billion people that will be over 60 years old, globally. Most of the ageing population, is prevalent in developing countries. So this alarming statistical information, highlights the need for increased healthcare services, especially dementia. There is now over 7 million new cases of dementia, diagnosed worldwide annually, according to statistics. Amazing. I will be over 60 years old, in 2050, one of those ‘aged’ people. Great. Turning another year older in a few weeks, only brings a smile to my face. On reflection, life has been an incredible kaleidoscope of events, adventure and advancement. Ageing is mere reality, beauty and truth.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
A few weeks ago someone I knew, died suddenly. This had a profound affect on me, in the sense that we should always live in the present. Being aware of what is important, opposed to ‘keeping up appearances’. I am always re-evaluating my emotional and spiritual life, on a regular basis. Then today, I was required to update my ‘First Aid’ skills for work, administering CPR to (dummy) babies, children and adults. Discussing the perils of seizures, asthma, anaphylaxis, diabetes, burns and respiratory disorder. Rollercoaster ride of life and death. I have worked as a nurse, and experienced terminal cancer patients, and the memories that families explore, on reflection of their previous years. It is a humbling and proud moment, when your patient or friend remembers your name only, knowing your existence mattered. Life is fragile. Stare life in the face, that’s all.